Small Steps Forward

I'm over the moon and just wanted to share what could be a huge step forward (although starting with small steps at first) towards my Alaskan grand-daughter being able to better communicate with the world.

Little K has autism. In the scheme of things on the spectrum, authorities would class her as low functioning. She is nearly 11 and doesn't have a lot of words, but she is not what I would class at totally non-verbal, and in the past 18 months her word skills have increased a lot. But a lot of what she says is still hard, very hard to understand.

Like a lot of autistic children (and maybe adults) she get frustrated and acts out, and of course, as she gets older and bigger that can be more of an issue. I know it has caused moments of despair for her parents (my daughter in law K and her ex-hubby R) and for my daughter too.  My daughter B became Little K's Aussie Mummy nearly two years ago, and it is so great that Little K has three parents in her life that want the best for her.

Recently I Skyped with my daughter and saw her shed tears because she wants to help K to be able to better communicate and was worried that it might never happen. They were about to meet with Little K's school to look at other ways of increasing her skills and looking at speech programs that could help. But no-one knew how Little K would react, whether she had the skills to understand and if she did how quickly would she learn.

So last weekend I got this video.  Little K had learnt she could ask for chips, and was pushing, chips, chips, chips to indicate she wanted more than one chip. B showed her she could push just one more button and get the same message across. It only took her being showed once and this is the result.

Then today I got sent this video. It's short and sweet but you can hear her joy at the end, and now she can communicate so much more and I believe she is also trying to mimic the words as she pushes the buttons.

The journey my Alaskan family is on, will continue to be hard, but I hope above all hope, that small steps like these make it easier, especially for Little K, for though I too have only known her for a short time, she is a beautiful and unique child full of potential.

If this is not inspiring, then I don't know what is.

Thanks for popping by xxx

Another one that says it all

Found this on FaceBook today, it was shared on a friends page. Pretty much sums up life if you think about it.

Thanks for popping by xxx

Perspective ... It's all about how you look at it (Part 2)

The last post I did before this blog fell into oblivion for a couple of years spoke of Perspective, it was the blog post that got the most visits (although not the most comments) out of all the posts I have written here at The Half Full Glass. (Feel free to visit the original post using the link)

What I wrote then still holds true to me today.  Many of you may know I had a total knee replacement back in December 2013, just before Christmas.  What you may not know is the depths of despair that I dropped to, especially in the first six months post surgery. I still struggle even now as the knee has not responded as well as I would have hoped.

During those dark nights, and there were many of them, when pain was my constant companion and all I wanted to do was to chop my leg off, I had to work really hard at not dropping so low that I lost all hope.

I use perspective to do just that.

Back then (and sometimes even now) I have a leg with pain, constant pain, but at least I have a leg, there are many that don't who still have the pain even with their leg amputated. (I can say the night pain is now mostly gone)

I may have to continue to walk with a walking stick, even all these months later, but at least I can walk and I am not confined to a wheelchair.

I may still be sleeping in the spare bedroom as I continue to have periods of insomnia even though I am now off all my pain killers, except for the occasional panadol, but I have the luxury of a spare bed when there are people on the streets who call a cardboard box home.

I also have a hubby who loves me enough to not be offended that I am not sharing the marital bed on a permanent basis.  There are many who do not have a supportive spouse, or a partner or are alone.

I know just how hard it is sometime to keep things in perspective, but I encourage you to try.

Thanks for popping by xxxx (oh and the photo is my jasmine springing into life)

This Says It All

I found this on Joy of Mom's Facebook Page, and had to borrow it.  I'm hoping you all have someone that is always there for you.

Sometimes I feel that I am the person that is there for everyone else, but in my darkest times I know I have some beautiful friends, work colleagues and family I can reach out to.

So if you are like me, always the person holding the umbrella, be kind to yourself sometimes too.

Thanks for popping by xxxx

Fatherhood ... some musings on an unknown journey

Today is Father's Day here in Australia, which has got me thinking about my dad and my hubby and their fatherhood journeys.

In my hubby's case, fatherhood was thrust on him. We didn't plan to get pregnant when we did (very early in our relationship), he didn't plan to fall in love with a woman who already had a child. We didn't plan to have four children but we did.

I'm sure it has been a struggle for him over the years, and I'm sure that my children think there are things he could have done better in his fatherhood journey (as they undoubtedly think the same of my motherhood journey too) but being alongside my hubby on this journey, I know that he has done the best he can and that he loves each of our children unconditionally, in fact, I know he would lay down his life for them if he had to, even now when they are all adults.

Which brings me to my father and my irritation about who he is as a father.

I haven't had a wonderful relationship with my father during my life, but without him, I wouldn't be ... so the cynical part of me says there is some good in the man.

Am I being too judgemental here though, I can forgive my own husband for his failings in the parenthood journey, but not my own father?

Let's face it being a woman, I don't know what it has been like to be a father for either of them, a parent yes, a father no.

In all honesty I can say that being a mother, while being something I have loved, has at times been the hardest road in my life.  So is it even harder being a dad?

As a mother, for me, the joy of having a child growing inside of my body, the bond I felt from the moment I knew I was 'with child' has been the greatest joy in my life.  That moment when your child is given to you, all mucky and screaming, when it first suckles from your breast, when it first looks at you with those eyes so full of innocence ... as a mother we get to experience that journey, but as a father, well it cant possibly be the same. Just the fact that they don't gestate surely gives them a disconnect no matter how much they want to be a father.

In my father's case, I don't think he was ready for children in his early/mid 20s. I am not sure he would have been ready for children at any age as he is a selfish man in many ways.  I will say that he has seemed to enjoy having his step son come into his life when he was in his late 30s/early 40s, so maybe being an older dad would have given him a better chance.

I am sure, in fact I am positive, that he thinks he has been the best father, and most probably he has, the best father he can be. Why am I so sure, well because he has actually told me what a great father he has been. I kid you not.

Is there such a thing as being a perfect father, a perfect mother, a perfect parent.  No, there is not, for no matter how much we try none of us are perfect. As a parent we can only do our best, and sometimes that best is not enough, but it is our best.

I look at these photos and see a young man, awkwardly holding his child (me) and think, he really didn't know what he was getting in for, did he? The responsibility of being a dad, a father in this little squirming baby's life.

So Dad, were you the father I needed growing up, in all honesty, no you were not.

I do however believe you did your best and that is all we can do.  

I have lots to thank you for, for no matter what you did wrong (or right), being your daughter has given me many things.  

It has made me a stronger woman, it has made me learn to love unconditionally, it has made me strive to be a better parent, it has given me the ability to finally realise that you do love me, maybe not in the way I had hoped for, but that that is okay, for love is love and there are many in the world that have none.

Happy Father's Day Dad xxx